No one can drink when they're in high school

No one knows how drink alcohol in high school, it's almost a rule. Like most things in life you have to fail before you succeed, everything is a learning process and you have to try anything in life to know how to experience it. Drinking in high school is sort of like this except for the fact that in life majority of people learn from their mistakes after the first or second time and then work towards accomplishing something correctly. For some odd reason though drinking alcohol between the ages of 14 and 18 is something that no one ever really grasps. Is it because your mind is too over stimulated trying to quickly learn how to interact and thus "make out" with the opposite sex? Or, even more difficult and awkward in suburban high school, same sex. Is it because you're trying to hard to desperately fit in so you try and wow some socially cool strangers by drinking an entire canteen full of vodka in 2 minutes? In any case right about the time you start to get chest hair your brain seems to shut off the part that gives you power of any real logic and grants you the power to say to yourself "I've drank 5 beers and puked in a recycling bin in a cute girl's garage... I should probably drink that 6th beer I have as fast as I possibly can." Why do teenagers think that drinking as fast they possibly can is always a brilliant idea? This idea never fades. Maybe it's because you have to be home by 12:00 a.m. or maybe it's because you're getting a buzz and having such a good time you want it escalate quickly, that can certainly be understood. However when you continuously drink to excess and then have to get up at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday morning force down bacon and eggs to keep appearances and then mow you're lawn in July heat, is it worth it? Apparently yes. One note: Mowing your lawn is a good cover if you're hung over because you can throw up and then sound of the mower will mask the sound of projectile vomit and then you can mow over puke and turn it into untraceable particles of party evidence.
Teenage drinking effects the part of the brain that would tell you not to drink half a 40 of rye when you're 14 and call the gorgeous, popular girl in school and tell her she has a big nose (of course Val didn't tell me why she wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the summer until I was 18). It effects the part of the brain that would tell you not to throw a gallon of red paint into a dryer. It effects the part of the brain that would remind not to drink wine coolers until you're blind and ride you're bike into a cement wall. It effects the part of the brain that would remind you not to beer bong Goldslagger while on acid. It effects the part of the brain that makes you take off tuxedo pants half way to your house on a strangers lawn for no reason. It effects the part of the brain that tells you not to shoot Paxton Smith with a roman candle at point blank range. Yeah, there are tons more I'll write more as I think of them.