I just read McSweeney's: What Your Favourite Classic Rock Band Says About You and then a follow up on flavorwire.com: What Your Favourite PUNK Rock Band Says About You. I have decided (before anyone esle can) to do a What Your Favourite ALTERNATIVE Rock Band Says About You. I realize that some of these bands still exist and are probably referred by another general genre label but they used to be alternative bands. In 1994 EVERY band was an alternative band.
Dinosaur Jr. - You haven't bought any new clothes in years.
Soundgarden - You dyed your hair twice: once blue and once bleached.
Weezer - Your style hasn't changed at all but you picked the one style that hasn't ever really gone out of style.
Alice in Chains - You wear waffle shirts under t-shirts still, but they're from the GAP.
Nirvana - You have lots of pictures of you in the high school smoking section.
Mudhoney - You still have a Sony discman hooked up to an old stereo receiver.
Hole - You scratch nail polish off your fingers.
Cyprus Hill - You won't shut the fuck up about WEED!
Silverchair - You wear collared shirts under vintage sweaters.
Green Day - You still owe money to Columbia House.
Offspring - You never moved away.
Pearl Jam - You wear a hat from your univeristy with an adjustable back and the peak is NATURALLY tattered.
Rage Against the Machine - You play in a cover band.
Smashing Pumpkins - You're sort of tough but sort of girly.
Radiohead - You write for a modern tech blog.
Beastie Boys - You sort of know how to dance.
Beck - You have a bean bag chair in your basement rec room and the artifacts of an elaborate pipe system enabling you to smoke pot in your bedroom and blow it outside masking the odour.
Breeders - You're an English grad student.
Pixies - You lost your virginity in the bathroom at an all ages show.
Built to Spill - Your girlfriend told you to listen to the Pixies but you thought they were fags because of their name.
Candlebox - You don't listen to music anymore.
Spacehog - You know at what point to switch sides on a mix tape to get to the beginning of a good song on side B.
Cake - You like jazz now.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - You love Hollywood and imported beer.
Counting Crows - You were a resident adviser in your college dorm for 3 years of college.
Rollins Band - You watch a lot of documentaries.
Foo Fighters - You've only been to concerts in arenas.
Sonic Youth - You have a mantle with melted candles on it.
Garbage - You're a woman in upper management.
Limlifter - You live in Canada.
Ghadharvas - You live in Ontario.
Helmet - You're an abrasive drunk.
Korn - Your eyebrow ring is now an eyebrow barbell.
Deftones - You love UFC and wear a black windbreaker.
Janes Addiction - You smoke king size Du Maurier cigarettes.
Bikini Kill - You live in a cool loft.
L7 - You've been bruised by a woman.
Ween - You get stoned and eat Nutella.
The Melvins - you can take a punch, you have a beard.
Portishead - You listen to dub step in your car.
Less Than Jake - You hate Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - You hate No Doubt.
No Doubt - You love MXPX.
Sublime - You are undeniably white, you like the X Games.
Nine Inch Nails - You've done a lot of acid, you had an undercut - you are a sound engineer.
White Zombie - You wore green army cargos and combat boots, you write for a horror movie blog.
Pavement - You work on your Mac at a cafe with free Internet and $6 pieces of cake.
Primus - You only like Primus.
Blur - You moved to England for 6 months after you graduated high school and then wouldn't stop talking about London for 2 fucking years.
Bjork - You have a degree in environmental design.
Limp Bizkit - You're a date rapist.
Superchunk - You sell vinyl on Ebay.
They Might Be Giants - You write intellectual satire - you are socially weird.
Tool - You are a line cook who does a lot of meth.
Veruca Salt - You wear cute, knitted mittens.
Bush - You worked at a t-shirt store with ironic slogans, you still have chin legnth hair parted in the middle.
3 comments:
Can I give this 5 stars? That's funny.
I'm pretty sure some of those dorm advisors liked Limp Bizkit as well as Counting Crows.
This is what we would've called a five-jerker back in high school.
No Chevelle wtf
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